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 [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?

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PostSubject: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   8th June 2015, 3:45 pm


In many girl-centric animes, we often see large groups of female friends. Usually, a major life event brings them together and WHAM! Suddenly they're best-friends-forever. It's true of Sailor Moon, but also of other, more recent anime like K-On! Sometimes the friendships are so amazing (everyone is so supportive and nice and happy all the time!) that I wonder if it's even possible to have a large friend group like this. 

Do you think this is an unattainable standard or is this something real? Have you experienced it and if so, what do you think it takes to cultivate this kind of group of friends? Is this something that the Japanese strive for or that is more common in their culture?

A note: I'm sure this trope probably has a name but I have no idea what it is!

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   8th June 2015, 4:50 pm

Is it attainable? Sure. Like colonizing Mars is attainable, just really, really hard.

I've heard of people who threw birthday parties at nightclubs, renting it exclusively for themselves, and the house would be full with a huge line of friends still waiting outside to get in, so popular they were.

And I've had a very amazing friendship years ago, although it was just one person, before we parted ways.

So I guess it's just a really big world and you can find most everything in it?

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   10th June 2015, 6:12 pm

Anecdotes from my life:

I once was part of a group of 4 during college. We decided to live together in a 4 bedroom apartment and it was the most harmonious living situation I ever had. Two of the 4 ending up dating and having a bad break up, but it was really great at least for a time.

In high school, I was also part of quad which dubbed ourselves "The Crew" and we each had positions on a ship. We lasted from 2007-2010 when everyone's lives diverged.


The closest I came to five was when I first moved out of my parents' house. I moved closer to where a good college friend lived and she introduced me to three HS friends of hers. The five of us started hanging out all the time because of close proximity and I even hung out with the three of them when my primary friend was busy. But all three have left the city now, even though we're all still friends.


tl;dr - it's possible but life seems to get in the way, especially once school is over.

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   14th June 2015, 7:21 am

I guess what strikes me most about these anime groups of friends is how accepting they are. Like for example, Usagi is a huge crybaby. If I were in middle or high school and cried every time something upset me, I think the general consensus would be something like, "you need to get tougher and stop crying so much". I doubt I'd have a lot of friends in that case.

Is it an anime thing that people are so accepting of flaws like this or a Japanese thing?

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   14th June 2015, 8:00 am

I've had it happen several times before, but usually when we were living together, separated from the outside world, such as sleepaway camp and archaeological field school.

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   14th June 2015, 8:51 am

Henshinyo wrote:
I guess what strikes me most about these anime groups of friends is how accepting they are. Like for example, Usagi is a huge crybaby. If I were in middle or high school and cried every time something upset me, I think the general consensus would be something like, "you need to get tougher and stop crying so much". I doubt I'd have a lot of friends in that case.

Is it an anime thing that people are so accepting of flaws like this or a Japanese thing?


I have a bad habit of crying when I'm frustrated. It was worse when I was a little kid. When I didn't get something right away, I would have a meltdown. Because of that I had no friends in the first grade. The kids would tease me. So yeah even little kids wouldn't put up with a crybaby. What's funny of one my classmates from the first grade is my best friend today.

Back to Sailor Moon. In the anime the Inners and Luna were more tough on Usagi. I know some fans think she was treated unfairly in the anime. I can agree to a point, but there are some cases Usagi needed the harshness. As for the manga I think everyone was a bit too kind to Usagi. Because seriously the whole cry baby thing gets old fast.  

I think it's just an anime thing. It's not reality and some people dream about having a huge group of friends. I would love to have more friends in real life, but I'm happy with my two best friends. Sometimes that's all you need.  


This also brings up the reason why I love PGSM so much. The girls earn their friendship with each other. Only Usagi and Mako hit off right at the bat.

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PostSubject: Re: [Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?   22nd June 2015, 7:58 am

I'm with the others. Attainable? Yes, but it's extremely hard.

In order to have even half of the closeness that the 5 have in this series, you'd have to devote a lot of time between four different girls just to get to know them on a personal level. In Sailor Moon, all five of them have a common struggle that no one else can relate to, so it makes sense on a story level why they would all gravitate toward each other. They have reasons to keep hanging out because it makes them feel at ease.

I feel that close relationships can be especially hard for women, since a lot of drama and toxicity can build up if you even have one girl that's rotten in the mix. Of course, this can apply to men too, but I've personally noticed this in my own group of friends.

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[Debate] The 5 friend fallacy: is it even really real?

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