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 Weight of the Cards

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Addelyn
Lotus Crystal

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Lotus Crystal

Title : GC's Official Nephrite
Posts : 8019
Join date : 2012-08-04
Age : 29
Location : Canada


PostSubject: Weight of the Cards   3rd November 2015, 4:34 pm

This ficlet is about my Otaku Sailor Soul taking place in between Outsiders: The Forbidden Love Saga and Outsiders: Blood of Zeus  with JupiterThunderCrash. Some characters mentioned belong to JTC, borrowed with love and care. 

Using some Tarot cards, Amina works through a problem that's been plaguing her for a while. 

Comments and constructive criticism welcome!





They had finally arrived. When she had seen them online she had felt such a connection to them, unlike anything she had felt before. It had been a long three weeks while she waited for the package to arrive, ordering English items to Japan was incredibly slow. Her lover had been home when they had arrived and she had stashed them in the bottom drawer of her desk, waiting for a time when he wasn't home at the same time as her. She was scared of what he would think. It was one thing to speak to spirits;  it was her senshi power and her birthright as the Queen of Orcas, but it was something else entirely to use cards as a tool for divination. She wasn't entirely too sure on the Japanese opinion on what was considered occult and neopagan in the west, nor was she certain she wanted to find out.


It had taken an additional week for Yuuta not to be home at the same time.  Pulling the package out of desk drawer she carefully opened the package and unwrapped the decorative box that the cards came in. Amina’s hands shook slightly as she held them for the first time. Slowly she went through the deck, taking care to examine each card slowly; the art word and symbolism contained in each card was exquisite. Mentally she noted several cards she wanted to take a closer look at later, something about each one drew her to them.


She couldn’t remember the last time she had pulled out her tarot card deck or her oracle cards; her house along with Kazaki’s music studio and garage somehow becoming the central hub for the Galilean Moon senshi, not giving her the privacy she felt she needed to do a reading.  Despite being the soul mate of one of the central members of the Moon team and being friends with the other members, she still felt as if she was on the fringe of their little group, never truly accepted. Her cards had been popping into her mind lately; usually a sign she needed to use them, so when she had seen the deck online, she had known that the question in the back of her mind would be answered with this.    


Things still weren’t a hundred percent with Kazaki, Amina feeling as if the younger woman was still avoiding her and she could almost swear there was still tension between Yuuta and Kazaki. She knew they had been a close knit unit in the Silver Millennium and in their reincarnated forms. Desperately not wanting to mess that up, Amina sometimes wondered if it would be best if she left the group, stopped fighting with them as a senshi and being around them in her off time. The idea of leaving had been dancing around her mind for a while now, ever since Kazaki had been brainwashed; logically Amina knew it wasn’t her fault, nor did she mean the nasty things that she had said, but the words still continued to play themselves in her mind like a broken record.


Cards in hand, she began to shuffle them, careful not to bend or damage the cards in any way. She always felt so relaxed while shuffling cards, concentrating on the question she wanted answered, in many ways felt so meditative to her. When the time was right to pull the cards, there was always this feeling, indescribable, but there, almost like a buzzing or pressure in her head. Placing her right hand on top of the cards, she concentrated on her question one last time, taking a deep calming breath before placing three cards on the table in a horizontal row, then placing the remaining cards to the side. For Amina, having the extra insight of three cards when she had a question was always beneficial. There were more complex spreads she could have done, ones that would show the negatives and positives of each decision in question, but this simple three card spread felt like the right one to do.


Grabbing the leftmost card, she turned it over, revealing The Fool, inversed. The Fool was number 0 in the Major Arcana, usually symbolizing the potential of the journey ahead, but when it was reversed as it was before her, it represented something different. Naivety, foolishness, recklessness, disregard for actions, acting like the fool, living in the moment instead of planning ahead. The words came to her mind easily despite how long it had been since she had last used her decks. Not fully understanding consequences of actions was another thought that came to mind when she looked at the card.


Arching her eyebrow, she moved onto the center card turning it over to reveal the Queen of Pentacles. Look before leaping, exercise good judgement. The Queen of Pentacles was the mother card, represented by cooking, cleaning, taking care of people. It’s almost as if this is representing my place in the group. Every time they were together, she was always taking care of them, making sure everyone was fed, homework was done, always having been the mother hen type.


Flipping the final card, the King of Pentacles stared back at her. He represented taking care of others by providing advice, guidance and wisdom as well as more material aspects such as financial support. Again, all things she did for the group, being the only one who had a steady job and being older than they were. She managed the group's day to day affairs being a natural planner and loving that kind of control. It also represents abundance, security, stability and trustworthiness. Do they really trust me like that? All the signs were pointing towards yes.


For as confident as she appeared to be, Amina was by virtue of her past, insecure. She had a hard time believing that she was actually wanted somewhere, allowing the negative voice in her head to gain a foothold when she shouldn’t. While she had gotten better at ignoring that little voice over the years, she was beginning to suspect that it was the culprit behind the crazy idea to leave the group. If they really had an issue with her, they would have told her by now.


Smiling, she gathered the cards up, sliding them back in the box they had come in before returning them to the bottom drawer of her desk. Glancing at the time and finding it to be still early in the evening, she decided to head over the Kazaki’s hoping to catch the younger woman.


Perhaps we can finally work things out between us. She had a good feeling that even if today didn’t go well, it would all work out in the end.
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Weight of the Cards

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