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 The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)

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Lyssarie
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PostSubject: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime10th August 2014, 10:51 am

The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) NNsJS5u
Hi everyone!

So, Miss Kalee (Holy Fire Priestess) and I have been working very hard on fixing and remastering her Sailor Moon fanfiction, The Galaxies Reunite.  This is the thread where I will be posting updates and information on the progression of the story, and hopefully getting some feedback!  This story is also in the process of being made into a manga, and we will definitely have more information on that soon!  If you're interested, there will be a spoiler section were the sketches will be shown.  Constructive criticism is more than welcome, and we would like to thank everyone who takes the time to read and review.  Without further ado, here are the first three chapters!

Chapter One:
 

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Last edited by Miss Moon Rose on 17th August 2014, 3:40 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Lyssarie
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime10th August 2014, 10:54 am

Chapter Two:
 

Chapter Three:
 

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Holy Fire Priestess
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime11th August 2014, 9:41 am

bump, we would very much like to know your opinion.

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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime11th August 2014, 10:06 am

meant to read this sooner but... well they doomed now so to speak... hehe

good story so far

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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime12th August 2014, 10:15 am

I only got around to reading the prologue and the first chapter, but I have some critique for you.

If a person wants to read this on the pretense that it's a Sailor Moon fic, many will be thrown off by all the unfamiliar information being pushed on them at once in the prologue. It's an intimidating wall of exposition with very few familiar names in it, and a person's first instinct is to skip it and get to the action and dialogue with the senshi.

A solution would be to drop the prologue chapter entirely and instead distribute the background story piece by piece as they become relevant. It's a very good history you've created, but no one will be able to appreciate it if they don't have any time to digest it. The way you introduced Kuria and her history to Usagi in the first chapter was much better done, and it took less time and words to get the main info across. If you keep that trend up in the subsequent chapters and let the whole backstory unfold more naturally, I think it would be better received and people will be less confused. I'll try to finish the other chapters when I can! ^^
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime12th August 2014, 2:14 pm

Great, thank you so much! And I really appreciate that input, JTC, Kalee and I will be discussing that!

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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime17th August 2014, 3:43 pm

Bump!  The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) 4006961010 

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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime18th August 2014, 5:54 pm

bump

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Holy Fire Priestess
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime20th August 2014, 1:36 pm

bump

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Holy Fire Priestess
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime25th August 2014, 11:43 am

bump

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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime26th August 2014, 1:20 pm

Omg this is awesome!!!! Kalee, I know we aren't working on a story but I still wish ud email me!!!!! And I love the plot twist of chibiusa being the one needed

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Holy Fire Priestess
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime28th August 2014, 5:09 pm

bump

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Holy Fire Priestess
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PostSubject: Re: The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered)   The Galaxies Reunite (Remastered) I_icon_minitime20th January 2015, 9:39 am

bump

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